I guess, everyone had ever watched TV soap opera -- a love stories when two lovers have to part ways, and then one is sobbing so hardly? If you ever had watch I guess you knew what I am really talking about. When I watch those kinds of soap opera I had thought it was too over re-acting, it’s too unbelievable, but it wasn’t passed in my mind that I would ever experience the same kind of reaction when I got broken hearted. But a big YES, it's happened to me. So, I wrote a short flashback of the story of my foolish act. (lol)
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A Synopsis of the past: It was 5 years ago when my boyfriend and I had broken up I said to myself I will never get affected no matter what happen and that I am would never feel the pain that others does. Yet, one day my own thoughts proved me that I was wrong, that I am not a superwoman who is in control of everything. While sitting on the bus going to my work one particular song played on the radio it was caught me melancholic (it was a song that my boyfriend used to dedicate to me whenever he sang it or even played over the radio when we were together then...). Never did I notice that tears came rolling by like a waterfall in Majayjay Valley (somewhere in Laguna, Philippines) without end; before I even realized that I'd finished a roll of tissue in my hand. It was too disgusting to look at myself 'cause I didn't even know how to compose myself no matter how I tried I keep sobbing incessantly -- crying like a helpless child who lost somewhere in the middle of nowhere where nobody could give me a help. That is the very first time in my life I look overly crazy in just a snap of a finger just-because-of-a-past-song ( it was like a soap-opera indeed). Lol. Can you realize how hard I cried that I'd finished a roll of tissue paper and want even more?
(The bus driver, my seatmate and other bus enthusiast are my deft witnesses on this crazy moment of mine. Lol.)
There is another one unforgettable situation that had happened it was when I woke up one morning then all I did was crying it seems that I had a bad nightmare on the night before that no one could ever stop me from sobbing, then after awhile suddenly I was caught a dead blank in silence staring nowhere.
Then again, it was lunch time when my father called me to join them on the table, then suddenly I cried, cried, and cried my father who was going to fetch me for lunch was then surprised but never ask he just let me cry until the last teardrops fall...Father knows it well, I guess.
Though I hadn’t planned to be in that situation thinking that I was brave enough to handle it when I broke up with my bf. Yet, no matter how we thought that we can control it, our feelings, our emotions, nor our reactions there still a possibility that we can still feel the pain because we're human and have a heart.
(Now I knew that somehow whatever you watch on TV could possibly happen in real life or there could be a pattern.)
Now, I could say is whatever we watch on television is not all mere fantasy or over-reacting it could be somehow a true to life story of our lives, and somehow it connects every part of it that we could use as an armor or a shield in the future.
I knew I am not alone agonizing on an unsuccessful relationship... I guess, what I had before its not yet all true love because if it is we end up together. :)
(originally written: 5/8/06)
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